Can We Time Warp to January 09 + Obama Already?

Yesterday, we learned that the Bush administration - instead of worrying enough about troops in Afghanistan, looking to reverse our record deficit or do anything helpful in anyway whatsoever to stem global warning - decides to get some more anti-abortion laws on the books before they slip off into infamy. As the WSJ reported:

"The Bush Administration has ignited a furor with a proposed definition of pregnancy that has the effect of classifying some of the most widely used methods of contraception as abortion. A draft regulation, still being revised and debated, treats most birth-control pills and intrauterine devices as abortion because they can work by preventing fertilized eggs from implanting in the uterus. The regulation considers that destroying "the life of a human being.""
Why don't we just slap the cuffs on half the single women from 20-34 and call it a day? As long as we make sure Viagra is still covered on our insurance plans.

Now, today, we learn of two more fun facts.

First, our friends in Bentonville are warning of impending disaster if [when, praise the Lord] Obama wins the presidency. Store managers around the country have called meetings with employees to tell them that a vote for the Democratic nominee is tantamount to a vote for pro-union legislation. Now, I'm no flag-waving, card-carrying union fan, but damn if those Wal-Mart greeters shouldn't be able to unionize should they want, and they shouldn't have to be subjected to employer pressure about whom they should cast their vote.

Then, in a move that would make George Orwell beam with pride, the Department of Homeland Security has disclosed that they have the "right" to snag your laptop when you're going through the airport security for any reason - or no reason. Now that's an excuse and a half for why you haven't been able to turn in your TPS report:
"Federal agents may take a traveler's laptop or other electronic device to an off-site location for an unspecified period of time without any suspicion of wrongdoing, as part of border search policies the Department of Homeland Security recently disclosed. Also, officials may share copies of the laptop's contents with other agencies and private entities for language translation, data decryption, or other reasons, according to the policies, dated July 16 and issued by two DHS agencies, US Customs and Border Protection and US Immigration and Customs Enforcement"
Oh, Baby Lord Jesus, please save us.