Crushing on FSJ Crushing on BO

Fake Steve Jobs is an unwavering supporter of my main man, Barack Obama. It's definitely not McCain 2013, but FSJ - speaking for Silicon Valley - paints his own vision:
"...note to the rest of America -- we may not be as sexy as Hollywood or Wall Street, but you know what? We've got a shitload of money, and we know how to organize. We're a powerful bunch of khaki-wearing, gay-marriage-supporting, arugula-eating, Mac-using elitist nerds out here. To all of you racist homophobic non-Californian dumb fucks who find that annoying? Tough shit. We outsmarted you. We out-spent you. And now for the next eight years we're going to be running this country. We're going to give equal rights to gay people, fund stem-cell research, teach evolution, take down the fence on the Mexican border, and make sure abortion stays safe and legal. We're going to pull out of Iraq, shut down Gitmo, and stop torturing people. And yeah. A black dude with a Muslim-sounding name and degrees from Columbia and Harvard is going to be in charge. So sit back down, strap yourself in, and shut the fuck up, crackers."
For the record, I don't live in Silicon Valley or wear khakis. But the rest of the dream ain't so bad. And as FSJ would say, "Namaste".

2 comments:

Evil | May 16, 2008 at 4:11 PM

i cannot support barack obama unless he truly proves his elitism. for example, can he tell the difference between a cabernet and a shiraz in a blind tasting? can he distinguish between a sancerre and a sauvignon blanc? (now that one is harder because a sancerre is made from the sauvignon grape, so the difference is the style of the winemaker and also the terroir.) i have a sneaky suspicion that barack is secretly not a real snob. (just like he's secretly a muslim.)

Adrienne | May 19, 2008 at 4:09 PM

good point, evil. good point.